Father's Day Treat

I thought this was super cute. I'm so use to seeing a negative portrayal of fathers on social media. It was a breath of fresh air coming across this sweet video that went viral.

Artist most commonly known as Rico DA Ruler, has been writing freestyles for 10 years. His dearest freestyle was posted recently for his daughter naming her his #WCW (Women Crush Wednesday). Little Ms. Destiny was so overwhelmed, she covered her face to hide her tears from the video.  Grab your tissue and hit play.

Lyrics:
March 3rd of 2007
Was the day an angel came down from heaven
Into my arms in the ER, felt as if I was holding a mirror ‘cause I could only see me y’all
A little girl with her father’s features
Was employed at the time, but swore to make it my job to teach you
Everything I knew and more, though we ain’t rich
I promise this, you’ll have the finest food for thought, it’s truly yours
See you’re a blessing ‘cause you came at this time in my life
When it was dark and I was having trouble finding the light
And here you are, my little star
All shiny and bright
Wish I could pick you up and place you in the sky when it’s night
So the whole world could see you like I do.
No matter what happens your dad will always stand by you
From pampers to crawling, talking to walking
I never missed a moment, I made sure I saw all of it
Those the ones I cherish, ‘cause they don’t happen that often
I used to be hard, but girl you made my heart soften.
I remember the day that brought you home
It was me you and your mom, everybody else was gone
You had a little cold, but I had everyone on the phone
Talking crazy and crying ‘cause I ain’t know what was going on
What I’m trying to say, is daddy is going to protect you
Give you the best life that I can, I try my best to
Everybody make mistakes, and daddy’s gonna lecture
But when I see you doing wrong, I’ve got to give you some lectures
So don’t think I’m being mean when I fuss at you
I just want to be comfortable any time that you hit the scene
So people a well-mannered little lady
And I could sit back like, ‘That’s my little baby’
And I know sometimes your dad gets a little crazy
But that’s what eight years of raising a kid made me
Nah I’m playing yo, I’m proud of you…

Great hearing this young man proclaim his love and deication for his little angel. God bless them both!

Can I really blame him?!

I started talking to him on the phone after a few weeks of corresponding online. He was handsome, driven, drove a nice vehicle and had no children. Before even laying eyes on him I started this love affair with my Mr. Perfect. Before long I was asking about spending time together in public. At this point we'd already hung out in private; but he was never available for a true date. He always had an excuse as to why he was only available to just “Stop by.” At this point part of me thought he was only looking for sex, but the other part of me justified and rationalized his behavior and excuses. After all he continued stopping by even after I continually turned him down for sex. I was so confused; when I asked about our relationship status he would insist that "We're headed in the right direction," but wanted more time spent together to get to know each other. Before long I realized it was I who was pursuing him. I was the one calling and requesting date nights, I was the one keeping whatever this thing we had alive. He was still unavailable to be seen in public with me til’ one day when he met me at the grocery store. To tell the truth I was headed to the grocery store as he was on his way for his normal private hang out session. I begged him to meet me at the grocery store, can you believe I was actually excited when he finally said yes. It wasn't too long after that day that I gave into him and allowed him inside of me. I stopped talking to him after that.

For months I was angry with him. Angry at the way he strung me along, at the lies and how he used me. I played our story over and over in my mind and finally realized “I played myself.” From the beginning he showed me just who he was, never sending a "Suitable representative.” He never changed; in fact I was the one that changed. From the start of our love affair, when all we shared were a couple of back and forth emails, I made it clear that I had high standards, deserved the best and would be alone before I chase a man. I made it clear that sex was something that was simply not on the table and that I was saving myself for the “One.” But before the email reached his inbox I was already wondering if I should call him first. When he made it clear that I wasn't worth sharing a date with, I begged him to walk with with me in a grocery store, as if that would somehow boost my self-esteem. Not to mention it took less than 6 months for me to find him worth enough and give him my body, while he did absolutely nothing to earn it.
Author’s Note: The story you just read is a personal account of a woman who chooses to remain anonymous; but graciously allowed me to put her experience into words with hopes that it may help the women who read this blog.  Below are a few follow up questions I had for Ms. Anonymous.

Interviewer (Danelle): What do you want the readers to learn from your story?

Anonymous: Women it's time for us to fall in love with ourselves know our worth and wake up.

Interviewer: What do you mean by wake up?

Anonymous: As women we are a mighty and powerful group. We give life to nations. If we wake up and open our eyes to our worth we won’t chase men that don't value us. We would love ourselves enough to wait on the one that God sends for us; the one that's going to love and respect us. 

Danelle
PS. If you have an inspirational story you would like me to share and you’re available for an interview please inbox me either through the blog or email me @ danellejupiter@nurses247.com. If you would prefer to stay anonymous your identity will not be shared….ever.

Dear Future

It's been about two months since the big move. Although we miss being in NY, I must say we're settling in well. I look in my rear view mirror and Amia is doing exactly what little sisters do, question her big sister Aiyanna about everything and anything. I can tell from the tone of Aiyanna's voice she'll only be willing to answer a few more questions before she's "Over it." Tamar Braxton's "The One" comes on the radio, I'm singing my heart out knowing I sound just like her; well maybe not just like her. Lol. Out of the corner of my eye I can see my man bopping his head to the beat. I find his smooth groove ever so sexy. I chuckled to myself as I took a moment to take it all in. God has such a sense of humor, he showed me this very vision on numerous occasions and now I’m living it.

I feel his hand grab mine and as our fingers intertwine my heart melts. Life is great! I am witnessing Gods greatness, his mercies and his grace, and I’m in awe. His plan for my life is unfolding before my eyes. I look in the mirror again when I hear Aiyanna ask Amia "Mimi, don't you want to watch a movie on your iPad"?! As I suspected, she no longer wants to explain to Amia why the sky is blue, or how Dora gets into her IPad. Lol. My husband and I meet eyes for a brief moment and we both laugh uncontrollably because of the dialogue behind us. With my other hand I rub my belly, wondering what our new little addition will add to our back seat conversations.

Dear Future, I'm looking forward to living you. Oh and the next time you show me this day in a dream can you tell me exactly where we are driving, just hoping. Kisses

Danelle

It's just some t-shirts, or is it?!

My daughter returned home this past Sunday with 4 new t-shirts. She modeled one with the saying "Girls just want to have funds $," and as soon as she took a seat she excitedly pulled the remaining t-shirts from her bag. The second shirt had the phrase “ # OnFleek” written across the chest, the 3rd t-shirt was adorned with the number 100 all over it and finally the 4th was a peplum styled t-shirt. Am I the only one that's a little taken aback?!....  I promise that isn't a rhetorical question; am I the only one that finds a major problem with these t-shirts?

Aiyanna is a pretty average preteen in the sense that she's not thinking about where she's going to be 10 years from now and I would like to think I'm a pretty average mom in the sense that one of my major jobs is to prepare her for where she will be in 10 years. Almost daily we're going over the lesson that people often judge books by their covers and will judge you by your appearance. If you were a fly on the wall in my home you would hear me repeatedly tell her to cut out the slang talk. With that being said, why would I allow her to walk around advertising that she only wants to have “Funds” or have the words “OnFleek” splattered across her chest? I'm teaching her morals and values, like putting God 1st, and making family/friends and education her priorities. I would much prefer a t-shirt that reads #CollegeBound or #GodsChild.

Please share your feedback. Do you understand my point of view? Do you agree with my no compromise way of handling this situation? Or do you feel, "It's just a t-shirt."  I look forward to reading your feedback.

Danelle

Dear Aiyanna

So my baby, the big one, graduates this year. I'm soooooo not ready for this. Next year she will be in 7th grade, that's Jr. High school. Ahhh! As the end of the school year is approaching and she's begins her senior activities the more I realize just how real this is. Her class trip was a success and up next is her little prom, then not to long after that will be her big day, graduation!

Aiyanna,

It's such a joy to be your mom. I'm loving the experience of all of your first moments. I appreciate our deep moments and our silly ones as well. Plan on a life time of "Mommy please stop, we're in public." You will forever be my baby. I will continue to kiss you often and love you more and more each day. Mommy's looking forward to your graduation and the many special events of your life that will follow.

Mommy 

She

She sits on the bed wondering how she got herself in this situation. She looked up; the sound of him unlocking the door was magnified. Fear flooded her heart and her mind raced wondering how she could get herself out of this situation. She held back tears and responded to him questioning if she was ready with "NO! and I should really probably get home." He ripped her tights right after pressing play on an adult film and advising her to “Just relax.” There was no escape. Sweat dripped while he tried desperately to use her in ways that she had never experienced. He finally got up out of frustration, dressed and stepped out the room making sure to lock the door behind him. She pushed her skirt down and wondered if it was over, what was her next move, she knew she couldn't fight them all. She thought back and wondered why she didn't just run as they left their high school. Yes they were all surrounding her as they walked, but why didn't she just run. Did she want this? Is this her fault? She quickly left her thoughts when he came back inside the room seeming more determined than the time before, with a stronger approach than the time before, this time he made her bleed. After all she had never been at this place before. He jumped up in fear or disgust this time not locking the door behind and shared the news with his boys who I'm sure were waiting in line to further abuse her. She picked up her book bag and nervously headed towards the door.

She could hear the voices coming from what seemed like the basement and ran towards the front door. She felt the wind and finally a rush of tears. While still hurting and bleeding she's ran all the while checking behind her, finally she saw the school again and headed home. At this point she stopped looking behind her and began to look ahead. She should be relieved with every step away from that locked bedroom door but instead she remained fearful, how could she explain this to her parents? Where would she say she's been for all that time? How would she explain her ripped clothes and the blood?

Her heart skipped a beat and briefly she stopped breathing, the family vehicle pulled up beside her. She opened the van door and sat in the back. When she made it to the house she was told to stand at the door. She stood with her red coat over her off white shirt and tan shirt which hid the residue of what she just endured. She could tell that her parents didn't believe that she was hurt, but I guess they figured they would follow protocol and took her to the hospital. The rape kit confirmed that she was ripped and hurt. When the officers came she made up the names of her assailants; after all she didn't want to be further embarrassed at her school. The next day when she was sent to school she didn't know what to expect or how to behave. They were all older than her so there was a slight relief that they shared no classes together.

The day went on as if nothing ever happened and to the naked eye she was fine. But more than the physical discomfort she hated herself a little bit more after that day. How could she let it happen? Why didn't she run? Why did her voice disappear when it was time to scream? What if she didn't bleed would they have all hurt her? Is it her fault?

If only she had someone to tell her.... It is not your fault….you didn't deserve that. Or if she had someone to help her love herself through the shame and hold her hand as she cried for justice.

Today I tell you it's never your fault and you didn't deserve to experience that pain. You're worth more than even you know and God can and will restore your joy. Understand now that you deserve justice. God promised that you won't resemble the hurt that you’ve been through so don't worry about the shame. Lastly, until you find a way to love yourself through the pain, here's my hand and I will love you instead.

Sincerely,
She

Danelle

Ignorance Is Bliss

I can't wait until you have children and they give you back what you gave me...

That is one of my least favorite statements EVER! My family can tell you I was the child voted most likely to be in trouble, amongst all of the children in my family. I talked back, I got in trouble at school, I didn't do my chores correctly, I hung out with my friends without permission.....long story short I wasn't the best behaved child. As a result of my behavior I was punished almost always; I was beat, things were taken away from me, extracurricular actives were cut out, vacations were missed and I spent lots of time in my room when my cousins and siblings were hanging out and enjoying each other. WHY would anyone wish a parent or child to go through those experiences?

I find this commonly used phrase, I can't wait until you have children and they give you back what you gave me, to be very ignorant. Not to mention often times those are the very same people that are also praying against generational curses. How does that work exactly!?  On one hand you’re praying against the repeat of a particular behavior, while on the other hand you’re not so secretly hoping for the vindictive return of said behavior.

There is power in whatever you speak into the atmosphere and over my children I choose to speak positive. They won't go through what I have. They will be better than the child I was and become better than the woman I've become. They won't constantly be led by their pain and shame. They won’t be taken advantage of because they are somewhere they aren't supposed to be. They won't go to bed crying all night because even though in their heart there is a desire to do good, evil is always in their way. Their light will shine bright for the world to see. They will encourage others and themselves. They will be at the top of their classes and be respected and respectful. They won't only have beauty and brains, but they will also dance like angels or play an instrument with the perfect melody. They will either be the best debater on the debate team or a leader on the board of the student counsel. Or maybe eyes haven't seen nor has it entered into the heart of man who they will become.

Rant over

Danelle