She saved my life

I'm about 20 and my life seems like it’s not worth living. Nothing is going as planned and my test and trails seem to be over lapping one another. I'm wrestling with situations and circumstances that I'm just not built for. I'm embarrassed at where my life is; all of my peers seem to be thriving, but I'm stuck. As a result I decided to isolate myself thinking who would ever understand what I’m going through and worse…..who would care. I knew my family did not approve of some of the choices I made at that time so turning to them for a life line was not an option. Not even God seemed to be there……I truly felt ALONE. 

I was a new mom now, but I was simply going through the motions of motherhood, I read Aiyanna books, took her to the park, kissed her plenty and always shared plenty of I love yous. Truth is I still felt incompetent, uninspired and broken all at once. Being a mother just wasn’t enough, I was tired of LIVING.

So many times I made a plan, to slit my wrist. If that didn’t work I even had a back-up plan, over dose on pills. Every night after hours of tears suicide was my only remedy. The thought of my child having to live life without me always pushed my plans of suicide to the following night and on that night it moved to the next. I couldn't let her go through what I did.

One day after talking to my cousin in NC I realized I needed to run in order to save my life. We moved to NC, I changed the atmosphere that remedied me of the pain I had dealt with for so long, I changed the type of people I had around me and there in a rural town in North Carolina I gave my life back to Christ. He then reminded me that he never left me.

Life isn't always easy, no one ever said it would be, but his word promises us that "He will never leave us or forsake us.” Hold on; trust God for there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Pray; talk to the right people because isolation only makes things appear hopeless. When it seems like no one loves you and everyone has given up on you…..try God. I'm not going to make you think that instantly I was healed cause’ I wasn't. But with time my mind was renewed.  As you continue to follow my journey, life wasn't perfect after that, but suicide was never again, and will continue to never be, an option. God carried me through such a horrible place and used my baby to save my life.

Danelle

Any one suffering from depression/thoughts of suicide please call this hot line 800-273-8255. They are available 24/7 and are ready to help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a website www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Don't suffer in silence, their is always hope.

Just bragging on my baby

So today Princess Amia is officially two months and guess what?! She turned over today. Yup you read it correctly….. my baby turned completely over. I laid her to sleep on her stomach and when I was called via her crying, she was laying on her back looking up at me. My hubby and I noticed about two weeks ago her trying, but today was the day!  After a little research it's my understanding that the earliest babies usually turnover is 4 months. I'm such a proud Mama!!!

I want to hear from you, when did your little darling turn over? Share stories below or via email... Can't wait for your feedback.

Danelle

Introducing

Hi everyone!! 

So, family is a major topic I will cover in my blog so I thought it would be a great idea to introduce you to mine.  I'm newly married to my best friend Euing and we have two amazing little princesses. Our oldest Princess Aiyanna is 11; she's mine and now my husbands by marriage. On February 20th 2015 God blessed us with our second, Princess Amia.

Aiyanna is an all-around amazing little girl. She's a star dancer, stellar violinist, outstanding cook, Jr hair and nail stylist and most importantly an honor roll student. Currently she performs at an 8^th and 10^th grade level in Math and Reading respectively; and she is only in the 6^th grade.  Needless to say I am a proud Momma.

Princess Amia has already brought so much more joy to our home. Her smile has the whole house on a high. We're enjoying the experience of all of her 1st and often day dream about her future. Wondering how outgoing she'll be and if the volume and pitch of her cry is any indication of her future musical career, lol.

Remember Euing from a couple of paragraphs ago, my husband and best friend, he is truly my life partner. He's my homie lover friend, lol. Truly I'm blessed to have such a man that cares for me and our children like our happiness is all that matters. He's present with his family at church and helps make our home a house of prayer. He encourages me when I'm down and thinks about me when I'm focused on everyone else. He's who I tag in when I'm extra sleepy and our Princess Amia just isn't. I thank God for him and I'm looking forward to our forever together.

With all the amazingness (yup I made that word up….or at least I think I did) that is my family we still have our challenges like any other. Princess Aiyanna is a preteen, Princess Amia is a newborn and my husband and I are newlyweds…..the Kardashians ain't got nothing on us; wait….on second thought maybe they do. From my family, marriage and children blogs you can expect to read some of our current realities along with popular topics that are part of families all over.

Danelle

P.S. I will post a picture of Princess Amia soon, and in the next one she will be out of my belly.. lol