Can I really blame him?!

I started talking to him on the phone after a few weeks of corresponding online. He was handsome, driven, drove a nice vehicle and had no children. Before even laying eyes on him I started this love affair with my Mr. Perfect. Before long I was asking about spending time together in public. At this point we'd already hung out in private; but he was never available for a true date. He always had an excuse as to why he was only available to just “Stop by.” At this point part of me thought he was only looking for sex, but the other part of me justified and rationalized his behavior and excuses. After all he continued stopping by even after I continually turned him down for sex. I was so confused; when I asked about our relationship status he would insist that "We're headed in the right direction," but wanted more time spent together to get to know each other. Before long I realized it was I who was pursuing him. I was the one calling and requesting date nights, I was the one keeping whatever this thing we had alive. He was still unavailable to be seen in public with me til’ one day when he met me at the grocery store. To tell the truth I was headed to the grocery store as he was on his way for his normal private hang out session. I begged him to meet me at the grocery store, can you believe I was actually excited when he finally said yes. It wasn't too long after that day that I gave into him and allowed him inside of me. I stopped talking to him after that.

For months I was angry with him. Angry at the way he strung me along, at the lies and how he used me. I played our story over and over in my mind and finally realized “I played myself.” From the beginning he showed me just who he was, never sending a "Suitable representative.” He never changed; in fact I was the one that changed. From the start of our love affair, when all we shared were a couple of back and forth emails, I made it clear that I had high standards, deserved the best and would be alone before I chase a man. I made it clear that sex was something that was simply not on the table and that I was saving myself for the “One.” But before the email reached his inbox I was already wondering if I should call him first. When he made it clear that I wasn't worth sharing a date with, I begged him to walk with with me in a grocery store, as if that would somehow boost my self-esteem. Not to mention it took less than 6 months for me to find him worth enough and give him my body, while he did absolutely nothing to earn it.
Author’s Note: The story you just read is a personal account of a woman who chooses to remain anonymous; but graciously allowed me to put her experience into words with hopes that it may help the women who read this blog.  Below are a few follow up questions I had for Ms. Anonymous.

Interviewer (Danelle): What do you want the readers to learn from your story?

Anonymous: Women it's time for us to fall in love with ourselves know our worth and wake up.

Interviewer: What do you mean by wake up?

Anonymous: As women we are a mighty and powerful group. We give life to nations. If we wake up and open our eyes to our worth we won’t chase men that don't value us. We would love ourselves enough to wait on the one that God sends for us; the one that's going to love and respect us. 

Danelle
PS. If you have an inspirational story you would like me to share and you’re available for an interview please inbox me either through the blog or email me @ danellejupiter@nurses247.com. If you would prefer to stay anonymous your identity will not be shared….ever.