Happy 1st day of school to my baby and yours!

And I pray.......

Lord I bless you this morning... I thank you for being so awesome! As our babies start school today, I ask that you cover them. Send your angels of protection to be with them. I ask for your grace, mercy and favor to surround them. Let their light shine and let them stand out and be a peculiar ppl b/c they are a royal priesthood a choose generation. Let our children start and finish this school year on a high note. Even now I pray for top grades when they take all of their state exams.  God we pray for every teacher, administration and staff that will come in contact with our children, anoint them afresh. I pray for every parent that will read this prayer and that you rest, rule and abide in every house hold. Your will be done this year in Jesus name. 

Amen

Guess who's back!!

My oh my have I been busy!!! Here's a bit of what's been going on with my family and I. My oldest has had a birthday, she turned the big 12.... She reminds me on a regular basis that she's a preteen and will be in 7th grade this year. Where has the time gone!? It seems like just yesterday I was excited when she learned to pronounce mommy (and second thinking my excitement when her "mommy mommy mommy" became a song.???)  Now all I hear is "ma", apparently she's to old to say mommy now and the songs that's she's singing typically have nothing to do with me. She's growing up, in case you were wondering I definitely just dropped a tear. 

Princess Amia is now 6 months going on 6years old. She coos more then I talk, sits up, puts anything she can get her hands on in her mouth especially her toes. If you hold her hand she walks, when she went to the dr the other day they just couldn't believe it. "Sarah, Michelle come look at this baby!" Everyone gathered to see how big she's getting.  I think she loves the attention! She's eating cereal and fruit that I purée in her baby bullet. Sleeping through the night is still a complication, seems like I get maybe a night a week. At this point I will take what I can get. 

My hubby, he's up to his same old seemingly impossible task. He's loving me so perfectly, making it his daily mission to keep my heart smiling. His love is that kinda love that makes you, wait NOT YOU, but me fall for him over and over again. Our anniversary just passed and he started the celebration on a Thursday, sending roses to my office with a note confirming what I already knew. "Being with me is like being in heaven"!!! That Friday he surprised me with a trip to the spa, shopping and dinner. Saturday we hung out with friends and Sunday on our actual anniversary we shared a big dinner with family. He's A keeper!! Anyway, as always he's working hard in and out of the house and running things, at least I let him think he is. 

Now let's talk about me... I'm back in the office since maternity leave,oh how I miss working in my PJs at the house. Other than the fact that I have to get completely dressed and drive to and from in traffic, work is great! Besides work and my family, I have many other endeavors that I've embarked upon. Blogging has afforded me so many new opportunities. I don't want to share just yet, but I promise I will soon enough. 

What's next you ask?.....  I will continue to do interviews and share the journey of others. And of course I will give you more of my personal life stories the good the bad and the ugly. As you know, my blog is dedicated to inspiring women and people all over the world. I've been in very dark places both physically and emotionally but by the grace of God I've overcome many obstacles and everyday I continue my stride to becoming a better me. Also to come, blogs about breastfeeding, I will share my journey and tips for both mom and baby. I will talk about postpartum depression, hair shedding and everything (postpartum)/post baby.

Think before you speak and respond to any situation or conflict

“Danelle, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.” I jumped ever so slightly out of my day dream when the judge slammed his gravel onto the sound block, the noise echoed throughout the court. I haven’t even made it to my 16^th birthday, how did I get here. My thoughts were so loud in my head if I didn’t know any better I would think everyone could hear me. “Young lady” the judge said; finally I responded, “I do.”  Of course everyone wanted to hear what happened, but telling the story just made me want to smack myself. One stupid decision is affecting me big time; I guess this is why my parents (Auntie & Uncle Bill) told me I should think before speaking and responding to any situation or conflict.   

He and I started as friends; we actually met at school. We had a cool friendship, but after a while he became a bit controlling. “Clearly trying to control me doesn’t work out well,” I thought that last part in my head. It started with him just showing up to my lunch period and wanting me to eat with him alone. I was actually ok with that, I found it flattering. But I became concerned when he started requesting that I wear certain clothing and demand that I cut classes to hang out with him. I thought to myself “I’m wayyyy too scared to cut class;” our hang out time would have to be on my lunch hour. I tried pulling away from him, not going in the cafeteria during my lunch period and walking the long way to classes, but of course that didn’t work. Finally in the lunch room one day he addressed the issue and I nicely told him that our friendship wasn’t working out to well. He insisted that we should remain and I insisted that we shouldn’t. He wasn’t too happy with my decision and let me know I would pay for cutting him off. I really didn’t think much of his threats at the time, but a few days later he started terrorizing me in the cafeteria.  In my head I said…”I’m being a bit dramatic,” I should have said, he was bothering me, but I probably shouldn’t have called it “Terrorizing.” I continued to tell my story ignoring my thoughts and further explaining how he made me feel uncomfortable. “He kept coming to my lunch periods and I was fed up on the day he spit a spit ball in my direction. The next morning, without thought, I packed a weapon; my intent was only to scare him a bit. I figured that would make him leave me alone for sure. As usual he showed up to the cafe during my lunch break, but when he approached me this time I pulled the knife out of my book bag and told him “To never ever bother me again.”  It had worked, or so I thought. Later that day as I was coming out of the bathroom the assistant Principle pulled me aside for questioning.

More questions, from the judge, and I answered them all with my best interest at heart. The final question was asked “Why shouldn’t this suspension turn into you being expelled, why do you deserve to stay with this school?”  All eyes were on me and I was back in my head scrambling for a response. The truth was like most other teenagers I was young and completely immature. I probably didn’t deserve to stay in the school, but I was sure not to tell them that. “I feel like I shouldn’t be expelled because……” Trust me “My please let me return to school speech was better than a presidential candidate running for office.” I was super apologetic, explained where I went wrong, what I should have done instead, I even talked about clubs I would join and how this experience has turned my focus back to my school work and my future. Although I was suspended for several months, I wasn’t expelled. I won, but it wasn’t til” I matured a bit that I realized just what I won.

My actions could have resulted in much more than a four to five month ban from my school building. Really my stupid scare tactic could have resulted in myself, him or someone else getting hurt. How would I have been able to live through that? I could have been fighting for my freedom  w/ a judge dressed in black in a court room located in a court house instead of upstairs in my school building. Or worse, I could have been fighting for my life. What I won was the reinforcement of the lesson my parents had been trying to drill into my head. This isn’t just a “Girl really, you did that?” story, instead I would call it what my parents called it, a “Think before you speak and respond to any situation or conflict.” Because one quick mindless act could be life changing.”  

Everyone's Story Won't Read The Same..

My daughter’s graduation was this past Thursday. One of the speakers, a previous graduate of the school, started her speech by quoting a goal she set and wrote to herself in her 6th grade yearbook. I don't remember word for word what she said, but basically she wrote that she aspired to be great and become a lawyer/judge. She went on to explain that she just graduated with her BSN and was currently in the process of applying for law school. So in 6th grade, at the age of 11 or 12, she made a plan for her life and so far it's going just as intended.

In the past when I would hear such stories and I would feel like why couldn't that be me?! Why did I have to be thrown so many curve balls in life? Why did I have to endure so much pain? Why didn't I stay focused?

I don't recall what I requested to be written beside my year book picture and I'm pretty sure I didn't say I aspired to be a lawyer, but I did have a plan. I had dreams, goals and aspirations. It took years, a whole lot of maturing and having faith in myself to get back on track.

Everyone's story won't read the same, but never ever give up on you. It doesn't matter how quickly it may have happened for others or how long you may feel your journey is taking; as long as you have breath in your body you can accomplish every and anything you set your mind to. I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm much further than where I used to be and I refuse to give up now. Refuse to give up, that in itself is success!

Danelle

You're not the only one

"Do you know what he did to me,” I yelled.  My head fell in shame; it's been too many years that I've been keeping this painful secret. This was the first time I mentioned it, the secret, to my family; in fact this is the first time I was saying it aloud. Although it slipped out in the heat of this argument, it was finally out. Part of me was relieved. I looked up to see everyone's faces, I was sure they would be plagued with questions. To my surprise my aunts and cousins didn't believe me. No one consoled me, no one wiped my tears, and everyone just called me a liar.

I wasn't even 5 when it started. My first molester was my baby sitters son. Where was she when he made me do those things to him?! When he touched me below and made me feel so uncomfortable. Seems like every time I was there he found a way to have his inappropriate private time with me. It wasn't until my grandparents happened to change my child care provider that he couldn't hurt me anymore. It was finally over, or so I thought. After that I was molested by two of the men in my family. I would think "What's wrong with me that everyone wants to hurt me?" I thought about telling my grandfather on several occasions, but I didn't want him to do anything that would get himself into trouble. I was stuck with no way out, no one to talk to and no one to protect me.

My innocence was taken from me and the pain of being violated shaped my life. For years I was afraid of intimacy. When I finally became sexual I went through a period of promiscuity. I went from one extreme to the other. Because of my experience’s I am now very over protective of my children. I know it takes a village to raise a child, but I knew the betrayal of my village.

Author’s Note: The story you just read is a personal account of a woman who chooses to remain anonymous; but graciously allowed me to put her experience into words with hopes that it may help the women who read this blog.  Below are a few follow up questions I had for Ms. Anonymous.

"The enemy wanted to destroy who I would become."

Danelle: Has the enemy succeeded?

Anonymous: As I mentioned before the hurt I’ve dealt with in my past has molded who I am. To this day I struggle with misplaced anger. It’s a daily battle to keep my sanity and not allow the enemy to win. Ultimately I know everything I went through had a purpose.  That purpose was so that I could minister from my reality to others. To let them know they aren’t alone.

Danelle: You mentioned your grandfather, but where was your mom through all of this?

Anonymous: My parents were unable to care for me do to mental illness and drug abuse probably stemming from issues in their childhood.

Danelle: Have you shared your story openly w/ others?

Anonymous: Occasional w/ people that are going through or have gone through molestation. It's very difficult to share b/c it’s a part of me that I’m newly exposing. I held the secret for SO many years and I still find myself trying to not acknowledge that it’s real, b/c it’s so painful.

Danelle: Do you blame your family?

Anonymous: No and I never have… I knew they {Grandfather} loved me and I’m sure if they knew what was going on they {Grandfather} would have protected me.

Danelle: What hurts more, what happened to you or the fact that no one believed you?

Anonymous: Hmmm that’s a good question… I think the fact that no one believed me… They don’t know how many times I was violated or the circumstances behind it nor were they concerned enough to ask.

Danelle: Any final words?

Anonymous: My grandfather, my mom, my family when I was a youth talked about protecting me from the Boogeyman outside not knowing that the Boogeyman was inside all along.

Father's Day Treat

I thought this was super cute. I'm so use to seeing a negative portrayal of fathers on social media. It was a breath of fresh air coming across this sweet video that went viral.

Artist most commonly known as Rico DA Ruler, has been writing freestyles for 10 years. His dearest freestyle was posted recently for his daughter naming her his #WCW (Women Crush Wednesday). Little Ms. Destiny was so overwhelmed, she covered her face to hide her tears from the video.  Grab your tissue and hit play.

Lyrics:
March 3rd of 2007
Was the day an angel came down from heaven
Into my arms in the ER, felt as if I was holding a mirror ‘cause I could only see me y’all
A little girl with her father’s features
Was employed at the time, but swore to make it my job to teach you
Everything I knew and more, though we ain’t rich
I promise this, you’ll have the finest food for thought, it’s truly yours
See you’re a blessing ‘cause you came at this time in my life
When it was dark and I was having trouble finding the light
And here you are, my little star
All shiny and bright
Wish I could pick you up and place you in the sky when it’s night
So the whole world could see you like I do.
No matter what happens your dad will always stand by you
From pampers to crawling, talking to walking
I never missed a moment, I made sure I saw all of it
Those the ones I cherish, ‘cause they don’t happen that often
I used to be hard, but girl you made my heart soften.
I remember the day that brought you home
It was me you and your mom, everybody else was gone
You had a little cold, but I had everyone on the phone
Talking crazy and crying ‘cause I ain’t know what was going on
What I’m trying to say, is daddy is going to protect you
Give you the best life that I can, I try my best to
Everybody make mistakes, and daddy’s gonna lecture
But when I see you doing wrong, I’ve got to give you some lectures
So don’t think I’m being mean when I fuss at you
I just want to be comfortable any time that you hit the scene
So people a well-mannered little lady
And I could sit back like, ‘That’s my little baby’
And I know sometimes your dad gets a little crazy
But that’s what eight years of raising a kid made me
Nah I’m playing yo, I’m proud of you…

Great hearing this young man proclaim his love and deication for his little angel. God bless them both!

Can I really blame him?!

I started talking to him on the phone after a few weeks of corresponding online. He was handsome, driven, drove a nice vehicle and had no children. Before even laying eyes on him I started this love affair with my Mr. Perfect. Before long I was asking about spending time together in public. At this point we'd already hung out in private; but he was never available for a true date. He always had an excuse as to why he was only available to just “Stop by.” At this point part of me thought he was only looking for sex, but the other part of me justified and rationalized his behavior and excuses. After all he continued stopping by even after I continually turned him down for sex. I was so confused; when I asked about our relationship status he would insist that "We're headed in the right direction," but wanted more time spent together to get to know each other. Before long I realized it was I who was pursuing him. I was the one calling and requesting date nights, I was the one keeping whatever this thing we had alive. He was still unavailable to be seen in public with me til’ one day when he met me at the grocery store. To tell the truth I was headed to the grocery store as he was on his way for his normal private hang out session. I begged him to meet me at the grocery store, can you believe I was actually excited when he finally said yes. It wasn't too long after that day that I gave into him and allowed him inside of me. I stopped talking to him after that.

For months I was angry with him. Angry at the way he strung me along, at the lies and how he used me. I played our story over and over in my mind and finally realized “I played myself.” From the beginning he showed me just who he was, never sending a "Suitable representative.” He never changed; in fact I was the one that changed. From the start of our love affair, when all we shared were a couple of back and forth emails, I made it clear that I had high standards, deserved the best and would be alone before I chase a man. I made it clear that sex was something that was simply not on the table and that I was saving myself for the “One.” But before the email reached his inbox I was already wondering if I should call him first. When he made it clear that I wasn't worth sharing a date with, I begged him to walk with with me in a grocery store, as if that would somehow boost my self-esteem. Not to mention it took less than 6 months for me to find him worth enough and give him my body, while he did absolutely nothing to earn it.
Author’s Note: The story you just read is a personal account of a woman who chooses to remain anonymous; but graciously allowed me to put her experience into words with hopes that it may help the women who read this blog.  Below are a few follow up questions I had for Ms. Anonymous.

Interviewer (Danelle): What do you want the readers to learn from your story?

Anonymous: Women it's time for us to fall in love with ourselves know our worth and wake up.

Interviewer: What do you mean by wake up?

Anonymous: As women we are a mighty and powerful group. We give life to nations. If we wake up and open our eyes to our worth we won’t chase men that don't value us. We would love ourselves enough to wait on the one that God sends for us; the one that's going to love and respect us. 

Danelle
PS. If you have an inspirational story you would like me to share and you’re available for an interview please inbox me either through the blog or email me @ danellejupiter@nurses247.com. If you would prefer to stay anonymous your identity will not be shared….ever.