Think before you speak and respond to any situation or conflict

“Danelle, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.” I jumped ever so slightly out of my day dream when the judge slammed his gravel onto the sound block, the noise echoed throughout the court. I haven’t even made it to my 16^th birthday, how did I get here. My thoughts were so loud in my head if I didn’t know any better I would think everyone could hear me. “Young lady” the judge said; finally I responded, “I do.”  Of course everyone wanted to hear what happened, but telling the story just made me want to smack myself. One stupid decision is affecting me big time; I guess this is why my parents (Auntie & Uncle Bill) told me I should think before speaking and responding to any situation or conflict.   

He and I started as friends; we actually met at school. We had a cool friendship, but after a while he became a bit controlling. “Clearly trying to control me doesn’t work out well,” I thought that last part in my head. It started with him just showing up to my lunch period and wanting me to eat with him alone. I was actually ok with that, I found it flattering. But I became concerned when he started requesting that I wear certain clothing and demand that I cut classes to hang out with him. I thought to myself “I’m wayyyy too scared to cut class;” our hang out time would have to be on my lunch hour. I tried pulling away from him, not going in the cafeteria during my lunch period and walking the long way to classes, but of course that didn’t work. Finally in the lunch room one day he addressed the issue and I nicely told him that our friendship wasn’t working out to well. He insisted that we should remain and I insisted that we shouldn’t. He wasn’t too happy with my decision and let me know I would pay for cutting him off. I really didn’t think much of his threats at the time, but a few days later he started terrorizing me in the cafeteria.  In my head I said…”I’m being a bit dramatic,” I should have said, he was bothering me, but I probably shouldn’t have called it “Terrorizing.” I continued to tell my story ignoring my thoughts and further explaining how he made me feel uncomfortable. “He kept coming to my lunch periods and I was fed up on the day he spit a spit ball in my direction. The next morning, without thought, I packed a weapon; my intent was only to scare him a bit. I figured that would make him leave me alone for sure. As usual he showed up to the cafe during my lunch break, but when he approached me this time I pulled the knife out of my book bag and told him “To never ever bother me again.”  It had worked, or so I thought. Later that day as I was coming out of the bathroom the assistant Principle pulled me aside for questioning.

More questions, from the judge, and I answered them all with my best interest at heart. The final question was asked “Why shouldn’t this suspension turn into you being expelled, why do you deserve to stay with this school?”  All eyes were on me and I was back in my head scrambling for a response. The truth was like most other teenagers I was young and completely immature. I probably didn’t deserve to stay in the school, but I was sure not to tell them that. “I feel like I shouldn’t be expelled because……” Trust me “My please let me return to school speech was better than a presidential candidate running for office.” I was super apologetic, explained where I went wrong, what I should have done instead, I even talked about clubs I would join and how this experience has turned my focus back to my school work and my future. Although I was suspended for several months, I wasn’t expelled. I won, but it wasn’t til” I matured a bit that I realized just what I won.

My actions could have resulted in much more than a four to five month ban from my school building. Really my stupid scare tactic could have resulted in myself, him or someone else getting hurt. How would I have been able to live through that? I could have been fighting for my freedom  w/ a judge dressed in black in a court room located in a court house instead of upstairs in my school building. Or worse, I could have been fighting for my life. What I won was the reinforcement of the lesson my parents had been trying to drill into my head. This isn’t just a “Girl really, you did that?” story, instead I would call it what my parents called it, a “Think before you speak and respond to any situation or conflict.” Because one quick mindless act could be life changing.”