Dear Aiyanna

So my baby, the big one, graduates this year. I'm soooooo not ready for this. Next year she will be in 7th grade, that's Jr. High school. Ahhh! As the end of the school year is approaching and she's begins her senior activities the more I realize just how real this is. Her class trip was a success and up next is her little prom, then not to long after that will be her big day, graduation!

Aiyanna,

It's such a joy to be your mom. I'm loving the experience of all of your first moments. I appreciate our deep moments and our silly ones as well. Plan on a life time of "Mommy please stop, we're in public." You will forever be my baby. I will continue to kiss you often and love you more and more each day. Mommy's looking forward to your graduation and the many special events of your life that will follow.

Mommy 

She

She sits on the bed wondering how she got herself in this situation. She looked up; the sound of him unlocking the door was magnified. Fear flooded her heart and her mind raced wondering how she could get herself out of this situation. She held back tears and responded to him questioning if she was ready with "NO! and I should really probably get home." He ripped her tights right after pressing play on an adult film and advising her to “Just relax.” There was no escape. Sweat dripped while he tried desperately to use her in ways that she had never experienced. He finally got up out of frustration, dressed and stepped out the room making sure to lock the door behind him. She pushed her skirt down and wondered if it was over, what was her next move, she knew she couldn't fight them all. She thought back and wondered why she didn't just run as they left their high school. Yes they were all surrounding her as they walked, but why didn't she just run. Did she want this? Is this her fault? She quickly left her thoughts when he came back inside the room seeming more determined than the time before, with a stronger approach than the time before, this time he made her bleed. After all she had never been at this place before. He jumped up in fear or disgust this time not locking the door behind and shared the news with his boys who I'm sure were waiting in line to further abuse her. She picked up her book bag and nervously headed towards the door.

She could hear the voices coming from what seemed like the basement and ran towards the front door. She felt the wind and finally a rush of tears. While still hurting and bleeding she's ran all the while checking behind her, finally she saw the school again and headed home. At this point she stopped looking behind her and began to look ahead. She should be relieved with every step away from that locked bedroom door but instead she remained fearful, how could she explain this to her parents? Where would she say she's been for all that time? How would she explain her ripped clothes and the blood?

Her heart skipped a beat and briefly she stopped breathing, the family vehicle pulled up beside her. She opened the van door and sat in the back. When she made it to the house she was told to stand at the door. She stood with her red coat over her off white shirt and tan shirt which hid the residue of what she just endured. She could tell that her parents didn't believe that she was hurt, but I guess they figured they would follow protocol and took her to the hospital. The rape kit confirmed that she was ripped and hurt. When the officers came she made up the names of her assailants; after all she didn't want to be further embarrassed at her school. The next day when she was sent to school she didn't know what to expect or how to behave. They were all older than her so there was a slight relief that they shared no classes together.

The day went on as if nothing ever happened and to the naked eye she was fine. But more than the physical discomfort she hated herself a little bit more after that day. How could she let it happen? Why didn't she run? Why did her voice disappear when it was time to scream? What if she didn't bleed would they have all hurt her? Is it her fault?

If only she had someone to tell her.... It is not your fault….you didn't deserve that. Or if she had someone to help her love herself through the shame and hold her hand as she cried for justice.

Today I tell you it's never your fault and you didn't deserve to experience that pain. You're worth more than even you know and God can and will restore your joy. Understand now that you deserve justice. God promised that you won't resemble the hurt that you’ve been through so don't worry about the shame. Lastly, until you find a way to love yourself through the pain, here's my hand and I will love you instead.

Sincerely,
She

Danelle

Ignorance Is Bliss

I can't wait until you have children and they give you back what you gave me...

That is one of my least favorite statements EVER! My family can tell you I was the child voted most likely to be in trouble, amongst all of the children in my family. I talked back, I got in trouble at school, I didn't do my chores correctly, I hung out with my friends without permission.....long story short I wasn't the best behaved child. As a result of my behavior I was punished almost always; I was beat, things were taken away from me, extracurricular actives were cut out, vacations were missed and I spent lots of time in my room when my cousins and siblings were hanging out and enjoying each other. WHY would anyone wish a parent or child to go through those experiences?

I find this commonly used phrase, I can't wait until you have children and they give you back what you gave me, to be very ignorant. Not to mention often times those are the very same people that are also praying against generational curses. How does that work exactly!?  On one hand you’re praying against the repeat of a particular behavior, while on the other hand you’re not so secretly hoping for the vindictive return of said behavior.

There is power in whatever you speak into the atmosphere and over my children I choose to speak positive. They won't go through what I have. They will be better than the child I was and become better than the woman I've become. They won't constantly be led by their pain and shame. They won’t be taken advantage of because they are somewhere they aren't supposed to be. They won't go to bed crying all night because even though in their heart there is a desire to do good, evil is always in their way. Their light will shine bright for the world to see. They will encourage others and themselves. They will be at the top of their classes and be respected and respectful. They won't only have beauty and brains, but they will also dance like angels or play an instrument with the perfect melody. They will either be the best debater on the debate team or a leader on the board of the student counsel. Or maybe eyes haven't seen nor has it entered into the heart of man who they will become.

Rant over

Danelle

Women In Business Club

I was invited by a friend almost two months ago, to join a Women In Business Club (WIBC). Friend "if you're reading this I have to admit, initially I was skeptical," I just new it would be a waist of time. I prejudged the group; I thought it to be one of those groups that get people together, get them so excited about starting a new business that they'll pay for whatever kit, advice and/or direction.....a pyramid scheme. My my my was I so wrong.

The presidents of WIBC Gabrielle White of NY and Ayanna Crawford of Massachusetts, have stated a Facebook group that allows women (and men) to network daily and also come together weekly via a conference call. WIBC encourages, guides and supports each member with life's challenges and business ventures. Often we have accomplished guest speakers who range from business owners to motivational speaker and even life coaches.

Personally this group has answered unanswered questions I've had regarding my business and I have weekly aha moments. I often receive emails and text just checking on my progress towards my goals and sometimes just to say hello. The group members are embracing and offer their expertise when they can.

We have members in several states and are on our way to becoming nationwide. Feel free to follow Women In Business Club of Facebook and listen in on our Tuesday night weekly conference call... I can't wait to meet you on the line.

We might hit a few potholes, but with God there are no road blocks.....

So many times I've been angry with myself because I have yet to accomplish all I’d planned. I would think back to my high school diary where I detailed everything I would attain or accomplish: from my first car, the college I would attend and my major, my career path, my wedding, my family….even the set of twins we would have. I knew exactly which direction my life was going and despite all the naysayers I was going to make it happen. You can only imagine my surprise when I became pregnant at 17, I hadn't included in my plans me wobbling to classes at the local community college. Or years later when I wasn't in the career I choose, I was still on page one of the book I was supposed to author and the biggest blow came when I disqualified myself from ever attaining a nonprofit organization, an organization that I dreamed would help young girls, because of my terrible mistake.

We're often our own worst critics, and what I’ve learned is it's never too late. As long as you have breath there’s more time to accomplish everything you envision. I was on my weekly Women in Business call and our guest speaker said something that resonated with me. "It's time to change or perspective. Our dreams are really our goals."

 Let's make our dreams our reality. Once we write out our vision and make it plain, we should ask God for direction and move in the way he guides us. Let's dust of our diaries, journals and vision board and look at life from a different prospective. We might have to rearrange something's on our life's blueprint, after all it's really us that determines the order of our life's accomplishment's. Though God know every step we take and he's right there with us he gives us free will to choose our steps.

I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I'm much further than where I use to be. Instead of highlighting my shoulda coulda wouldas I'm stepping into the place of knowing God’s promises for my life are Yea and Amen.

Danelle

Dear Mama

I write this today both with tears and a smile. Today May 5th is my Mommy's birthday. I woke up wondering where my emotions would take me and if I could consciously keep them in check. Thoughts of our last experiences together some clear and some cloudy swirl around in my mind. So much time has passed since our last hug or since I've heard your voice yet I'm still so in love with you. I appreciate everything you were and are to me with the time we had.

In honor of Mother’s Day I wanted to introduce mommy shout outs

To my Mommy who I know loves me from heaven, I love you forever.

To my Auntie (she's my other mom) who has loved me through my foolish teenage years, you mean the world to me. Thank you for teaching me to fall in love with myself before trying to love anyone else. You taught me my worth and made it clear that I deserved the best. You gave me LOTS of lessons on cooking and cleaning……maybe a little too many…lol. You've had an everlasting impact on my life, thank you just isn't enough. I love you forever!

To ALL the mommies out there, you rock!

Share the impact your mom has had on you. I look forward to reading your feedback.

Danelle

Body Scrubs By Rebeca

Yay, guess what came in the mail?! My body scrubs by Rebeca Lemon Burst body scrub.

First let me say the product was packaged ever so perfectly. From the frilly papers in the box that matched her theme colors to the applicator stick that came with my product. No this wasn't the first time I had the pleasure of using her products, but it was the first time I purchased from her website. The body scrubs by Rebeca website was very easy to navigate. On the site you will find information about the owner and her love for skin care. She also has detailed descriptions beside every product making choosing the scrubs that works for you just that easy. I placed the order with no hiccups and the product was received in a timely manor.

When I open the large jar of my Lemon Burst scrub it smelled like just that, a burst of lemon. I wanted to taste it, but settled with applying it to my skin. This product left my skin feeling cleansed and moisturized.

I'm looking forward to using this scrub again and can't wait to purchase another from the body scrubs by Rebecca collection.

Check out her website www.bodyscrubsbyRebeca.com can't wait to hear your feed back regarding this product.

Danelle 

P. S. I wasn't gifted this product nor was I paid for this review..